What a fucking waste of an outfit
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
