Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
