i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
