he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We had sex on a dog bed..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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