I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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