I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize