what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
