I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
