Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i drank out of a bidet.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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