He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
