His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
