I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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