Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
