Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
