There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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