he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
