Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
