There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
