So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the condom got lost in my hair
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
