Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
