He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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