the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
