i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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