And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
