i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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