My entire life is one complicated drinking game
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
