Having a random hookup so left but love u
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
