You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
third nipple confirmed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
