Grow some girl-balls and come out already
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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