i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
