How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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