Porn is love you can see.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize