HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
