Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
