You're so nebulous sometimes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
