but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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