they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
