It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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