I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
