I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
