my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
