i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
