Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
