She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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