Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
