About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
