Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
