it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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