If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
