There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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