he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
