would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
