I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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