Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
