K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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