nut hugger
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I CAN MOONWALK!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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