It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My ass is underappreciated
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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