no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
