it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
