sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
