I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Nicole vs. Life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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