Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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