Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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