sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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