Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
